Riddle Me This

It is unfortunate if in fact chemical weapons have been used in Syria. Over 1,000 people have died. I believe around 1,300, and the struggle is real…..another Middle Eastern country another set of issues. Also, Russia is backing this country. 

Why is the US, looking to get involved in this war?? Because of oil? To generate money?? We are just now getting out of Afghanistan, coming out of Iraq, and trying to turn our own country around. We have gang issues, money issues, race issues, equality issues, education issues, and a whole lot more going on in our country. These are things that we have yet to move positively in a better direction. We have schools failing, losing accreditation….Why are we so worried about other countries?? We can’t even come to agreement as a country on the simple things, on important things. Why are we so worried about other countries. 

Also many innocent lives have been taken in Africa, Rwanda…etc.  where death tolls go in to the Hundreds of Thousands we aren’t striking these countries…..there’s hardcore proof of the violence, mass murders, atrocities etc. that are being committed. 

I ask this in the context of our country not being able to handle it’s own shit. Yet we run to the rescue of other countries?? Why?? Because war generates money?? Jobs?? Helps out our weapons manufactures?? Damn guess we that desperate. Now I understand the fact that the issues happening in Syria, Egypt, other countries may affect us and therefore we are stepping in because of that, if that is true. 

We go after these terrorist groups who hate us, vow to destroy us etc….okay we need to handle our enemies before they handle us that’s true. What about the gangs here in the states totaling 30,000 members plus?? 10,000 members plus?? shit 1,000 members plus??? Aren’t they terrorist?? They cause violence, their only purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy.  Why aren’t we sending the army after these groups???? 

Ohhhh but wait, we don’t want “BIG BROTHER” in our lives like that interfering. Don’t want the government to be that involved risk of losing our privacy, that’s what the police are for, maybe it’s just not that important to the government. Every time we get involved we make more enemies. These people will come after the American people, to hurt us, to harm us, to make a statement against us. Even if we all don’t want to go to war the government is representing America as a whole. At the end of the day the government has the say so if we go to war or not. That’s regardless of how the American people feel. 

We fund these radical countries, we give them money, they start wars, they hate us, come after us, use our weapons against us, use our money against us, the cycle repeats.  I’m sure there are things kept from the public,  Entire truths that aren’t being told through the media

Probably some type of conspiracy,  Some untold truth behind it all… What’s true is that innocent people are dying, our country is failing, school systems are failing (that also touches on parents and how kids are being raised nowadays), government can’t agree on the things that matter, and just a whole lot more that’s going on……..

S. Johnson

I have a lot more to say, a lot of questions, this is just kind of a brainstorm.


Online Poetry Workshop Starting July 7th

Awesome! Check this out fellow poets!

the poet's billow

The Poet’s Billow is starting an online poetry workshop July 7th run by poet and author Michelle Bonczek.

This is a 4 week workshop. Post a poem onto a private website each week and comment on your fellow poets’ work. Michelle Bonczek will give editorial and revisionary comments on poems; through the course of a workshop she may give suggestions for books to read, suggestions for publishing and exercises designed to generate new work. You are guaranteed feedback on a poem of your choosing each week.

This is a great option for anyone who wants honest editorial feedback on their work. It is great for writers who want to publish, enter MFA programs, just want to improve their writing or even just started writing.

We expect to have writers of multiple styles, and ages, with different experiences and plots in life. But what will bring us all together is…

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Wet, warmth

image

Yes.


Young Mother

I see the greatness that awaits you.
I see the strength that you have gotten from your pain.
The drive you have to do better and to be better.
My goodness girl you are a queen in the making.
I see how your daughter looks up to you. In amazement.
How her Mother is astonishing,  strong and continues to beat the odds of a young, single,  black,  Mother.
Determined to be somebody
Determined to raise her child right.
You got it. You have it.
PLEASE PLEASE NEVER LOSE IT!
Let that be what keeps you getting up in the morning to pray,  and take your next step.
Just remember that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.
Put all your strength in the Lord and he will guide you.
He will take you where no one,  not even yourself can take you.
Stay grounded in the Lord and in his word.
Be that example to your daughter that so many other kids miss out on today.
You may trip and fall on your journey. But baby you gots to get back up.
GET BACK UP!
Dust your pants off, put a bandage on that bruise or cut and keep KEEP ON YOUR JOURNEY!
Success is not only at the end of your journey but with in it. Right along with growth and endurance.
Baby.Keep. On. Going.


Thoughts of Whitney Houston

For a while after the late and great Whitney Houston passed it was hard to listen to her music. Then again listening to it was soothing but so painful. My goodness she was so beautiful and talented.

When I heard that she had passed via Facebook I was in shock and disbelief. I intially thought it was a false rumor going around. Then I recieved a text from my cousin saying the same thing. So I took to CNN and YAHOO and sure enbough there was a “breaking news” article on both home screens. I felt shock,  and heartbreak like I had lost a close friend of mine. I know it probably sounds crazy, but it saddened me. I even teared up  as I read updates of how she was found,  and suspicions of possible drug usage. I hoped that,  that was not going be the case.

I know it’s weird how people can mourn for someone they don’t even know, but you can develop an emotional attachment to someone. Especially when their music has gotten you through personal situations.  Whitney was always around and I loved her music growing up. I’m only 26. I followed her and because of the media I knew of her troubles and struggles she had. Anytime I came across a Whitney comeback I was excited and ready to hear/see her new projects. She was a great actress and singer. You can tell that she was a person of good character, but didn’t always make the best decisions. As we all have had our own issues and battles. You just always hope and wish the best for someone. I did for Whitney.

She was in my home and family. My cousin Demond loved Whitney! I remember coming over my Aunts house and he would be blasting Whitney, she put the biggest smile across his face! These are memories with my family that I cherish.

Such a powerful voice and amazing performer! 
It’s been going on a year since she passed, and it’s still fresh like yesterday. Stories are said that she talked about going home, and going to see Jesus. Whitney is in a better place now. No struggling, hurt,  pain,  and no more battles. In that case im happy for her.

She had her troubles,  just like anyone else. She still kept pushing. She loved her daughter Bobbi Kristina, soo much. She was the best/worst role model ever. It looks like her daughter may even struggle with some of the same issues Whitney did. Krissy has to know, see, and learn that things do and can get better in life. She has a plethora of support from family and friends to help her in anyway. I know she misses her mother, and wants to still make her proud.

Ms. beautiful, gifted,  and dearly missed Whitney Houston rest in peace.

Bobbi Kristina if you ever need someone to listen to you, be there for you, and support you Im here yo just contact me! Be blessed!


Trying to understand ME.

I have been going through a lot these past 10-11 years. Trying to understand the feelings and cravings that I have. Fighting to identify myself with me. Trying to fit in, be accepted, and the the other half of the time not giving a crap. This back and forth has made my mind nauseous. For the last 8 years I have been involved with women on and off. Never being 100% ok with it. Also having this unbelievable guilt about it. It’s caused depression, and just a lot of bad feelings. I was raised in the church. I am saved, and I believe 100% what the Bible has to say. Since the 5th grade I have been attracted lto women. I had a crush on my teacher. I had thoughts of kissing her and wanting to love her. Now I didn’t have the best childhood. Lol. Got made fun of, even the teachers had something to say. I don’t know if that pushed me towards the comfort of women. I was also a tom boy and i had my butch/stud moments. Maybe that has something to do with it i don’t know. I did like boys too as a child. I also remember playing boyfriend/girlfriend with this girl in 2nd grade. Ha! I lost my virginity to a male was even In love wIth a male. High school I found myself again attracted to other females. I prayed about it. I asked God to take away those feelings. I found myself with all types of friends black, white, purple, straight, gay, and bi etc. I was alright until my senior year. I became overtaken by this girl and well she became my first female. We were hooked up through a mutual bi friend. Since then I have been back and forth. It’s still been over 10 years since I have been sexually involved with a man. During these times I have tried to not be involved with women, but everytime I ended meeting someone. Sometimes it seems out of nowhere. (Maybe it’s the devil) It gets harder and harder to say no. I would tell these females that tomorrow I might wake up and not want this lifestyle anymore. Either be with me while you can, but you’ve been forewarned. Women have excited me from every aspect. I have even been in love with a female, and loved another. I have had a relationship with a female and provided for her. FOR ME. ..it just never feels 100% okay or guilt free. It’s not because of society or because of my family not approving (which they don’t). It just goes against my beliefs. I’m speaking for ME and ME only. (I don’t care what other people do. If that’s your life. Live it and be happy!) I have never been able to see me raising a family with another woman or being happily married to a woman. I always see it with a man. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get a chance to have my Dad around as a kid and a have a complete family. I would like to meet a great man to be with, marry, have kids etc. On the flip side I’m not comfortable with men. I find them attractive. I have even tried to date a few. I think because being with a man is so foreign to me, it’s scary. I’ve never had an adult relationship with a man. I can be a very dominant person. Im used to being the provider in a relationship. I think that I might bump heads with another man. Lol. Hey! Some man like dominant women. At the end of the day I want to be with a man. Marry a man. Be treated, cared, and loved for how I have others. It’s just scary. I don’t want to be involved with females, but there are times when I yearn for a woman’s touch. To taste a woman, in that oh so sweet, warm, and wet place. It’s like trying to overcome something you hate to love. I know what I want for ME. That’s what I will continue to work towards.


I’m Caught

Silent flash of light
It’s night I hit the brakes. pissed. 
Camera red light.


CONVERSING..Part 1

I really, really want to be able to have a decent conversation with a man that doesn’t lead to sex. Say something of interest, keep a conversation going the mature way. Literally men think with their d*cks. It’s quite frustrating.  I want me a refill too of a good conversation like Elle. I can’t seem to find what she had. I know a lot of men aren’t the talkative type, but why is they can run they mouth a mile a minute when it comes to sex.  When you finally do get to have a good conversation with a man it’s so refreshing. I would like to meet someone who I can talk to about anything!! Tell me something funny, crazy, embarrassing, or sweet. Tell me what drives you crazy, what keeps a smile on your face. Tell me what you’re trying to accomplish, or your first experience with something out of this world. Tell me about your friends, or whoever. ELATE MY MIND. Don’t tell me  how you go jack off, in the basement of your Mom’s house. WTF? Are women still just giving it up that easily?? I guess as long as he looks cute, that’s all that matters nowadays? We are grown, and you do what you want to do.  I don’t know,  maybe I’ll find someone out there one damn day. Lol.


Friessociates…..

Looking over what has transpired within these last years of my life….and it’s definitley a learning lesson. Gosh all I ever wanted was to be on everybody’s good side. I wanted everyone to like me, and not have any issues. That’s really how I felt growing up as well. You begin to see that people will dislike you just because. People will make fun of you, because it seems as though they have nothing better to do. Usually it involves their own insecurities, and they find comfort in humiliating others. It doesn’t help if you’re not comfortable in your own skin.


Poetry, My Heart.

Tell me a story about you and poetry.